3 Reasons Why Just Self Love Won’t Work

Curious to learn the reasons why just self-love won't work?

Are you struggling to overcome feelings of brokenness on your self-love journey? I want to explore reasons why just self-love won’t work on your journey.

First I want to examine the reasons why we start a self-love journey. They fall under two parts: brokenness and searching.

Part 1: Brokeness

You may feel broken and out of control due to the:

  • Ending of relationships
    • Toxic relationships
    • Codependent relationships
    • Traumas forms of abuse violent
  • Due To Feeling abandoned
    • No one stood up for you physically
    • Tormented by the behavior of people around you

Part 2: Searching

In searching, you may find peace and things you would like to work on but just don’t get lost. For years, I discussed the importance of finding and creating tools that will help you grow into self-acceptance on your self-love journey.

Some of these tools we will explore all the time on Meditating On Self Love Podcast. Affirmations are one of them. But I want to offer you another alternative to the digging and the tools that help you process. Perhaps what I will offer is designed to stop you from getting lost while you are searching.

Many of you become lost in the search for more peace and self-love. But not everyone is meant to look into inner childhood traumas, though some are. Others may see meditating as a great tool while for others it’s not meant for them. Don’t let the searching become this marker of how perfect you can heal or how well you can achieve self-acceptance.


Your constant need to feel in control and stick up for yourself comes from the place in you that felt abandoned and betrayed. But some of you do not need to keep searching and demonstrating control. Some of you need to hold the peace that you obtain and let God fight for you.

This is the true meaning of not being alone, regardless of what Noun disappointed you. I submit that the solution to feelings of brokenness and unworthiness and the constant need to search is to … surrender. And yes though I am a coach who would love to work with you and see you through your journey. The ultimate coach of coaches is God. 

Last Note: If you are in your twenties, don’t be so hard on yourself to get your journey right. You are not wrong you are going through a right of passage. This message can also extend out into the 30s, 40s, and 50s… We are all on a journey:

  • Relax and enjoy the journey, 
  • showing self compassions, 
  • learning boundaries
  • Find structure in your days
  • And I pray.


Prayer: Father God, bring us into the wisdom of who you say we are. Lord, you know our trials from our past. Create in us a clean heart and renew a right spirit within us so that we can walk in the confidence, not that we only have for ourselves, but in your confidence. We are only human and fall short of truly seeing ourselves as worthy, forgiven, and accepted. So on those days when it is hard to acknowledge our greatness we turn to you and receive your Godly vision of who we are. We are love. And we affirm that ultimate self-love is surrendering to the love you have for us which allows us to be strong in our god-given power. Bless this journey Lord. Amen. 

Listen to Meditating On Self Love Podcast wherever podcast stream! Meditating On Self Love podcast is a place for those on the road to self-acceptance. All about affirming your personal power.

Join host Ya Rose, if you are starting a self acceptance journey or just want to hear some great affirmations. This is the podcast for you. 

Join Membership For MONTHLY Coaching: iamyarose.com

Take Self Love Quiz: https://iamyarose.com/selflovequiz/

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